I Done Won Me a Medal

     It's not every day I have the opportunity to win a medal, especially since I'm no longer in youth soccer or basketball nor do I draw pictures or display art at the county fair. But two weeks ago I did just that, win a medal, and here's why.
     My work (DealerSocket) held a development retreat in San Clemente, CA, and as we arrived they divided 170 of us into 15 different groups and had us sit together as they endeavored to pump us up and get us excited about the future of our company. About 3 hours into this bad boy the real fun began as they gave each team a remote control car and $50 to build the baddest battle bot they could over the next two days. Rules were simple, come up with a team name, use only tools in the room and whatever you could get with he $50 bones to create a machine that could either push the competition outside of the arena or render them immobile.
     In a room full of nerds and engineers, I understandably took control of the group, the design of the bot, and the $50 and went to work. My goal: odds are we aren't gonna win so let's try for the most outrageous award and entertain the spectators along the way. A trip to Home Depot and Walmart and two days later we named ourselves the Dealiebers (like the Beliebers that follow Justin Bieber) and came up with this contraption:

 A little snow plow-like contraption on the front and back to flip the other bots head on and a couple ramps on either side and J. Biebs himself riding shotgun and running the show.

     To top it off I added a little flair to promote our bot in the form of Believe stickers and some healthy JB propaganda.

     Round one came and we were the talk of the joint. Not another nerd in the place had flair like we did and who doesn't love the Biebs? And when push come to shove, we did the most pushing and shoving and won ourselves the battle. On to round two.

     A bit unprepared for more than the first round, I came up with a solution to keep the onlookers entertained - let's remove a piece of our driver's clothing in the next round - BOOM! Off goes your shirt Justin!!!! Round two came and the crowd was excited to see our bot but when we showed up with the added bonus of a shirtless Justin Bieber, the crowd went wild and we scored another victory.


     We were on to something I thought and suffice it say JB rode in style in Daisy Dukes for round three - another win - and went full monty in the semifinals - a blowout win.

     We were in the finals now, coasting on fumes, running on borrowed time and even less clothes so the Biebs in a last ditch effort to keep fans happy, flipped over, rode the pony full frontal Barbie style nudity and demolished our competitor to claim the championship. The crowd was happy, we was the champs, and I done won me a medal - and $50.

     I wore the medal all the way home, through the airport, on the plane, and even walked through my entire neighborhood wearing it. I even slept with it - because who knows how long it will be until I win another medal.