SB 122

We are thrilled with the passage of Utah state bill 122 that creates an equal parenting plan for divorced parents. The bill passed unanimously. It went into effect on May, 5 2021. It will give good parents equal access to their children, and children equal access to their parents.  We are hopeful that other good fathers, like Ben, will never have to endure what we have endured.  

For a decade, Ben has had to fight to have the opportunity to be able to spend time with and be a greater influence in the lives of his children.  His ex conversely, has consistently fought to limit his time and interaction with them.  

This is our story:  

10 years ago, while living in Mexico, Ben's then wife decided to file for a divorce.  She took their children and moved to Utah.  This crushed Ben.  He arranged with his employer to visit his children monthly while waiting for the divorce to go through.  Soon thereafter, he asked for a transfer to Las Vegas because it was the closest location within his company to his kids.  After Ben and I got married, we began driving from Las Vegas to Utah every other weekend to see his children because he wanted to be involved their lives. It was amazing and beautiful to see his level of commitment to them.

Eventually, we moved back to Utah to be closer to the kids. Ben took a huge pay cut to do this which was a blessing in disguise. Because of his reduced salary we had no choice but to go to mediation to reduce child support and alimony.  In mediation we were able to mediate a little more time with the kids (4/14 nights), hooray!  

While we were very happy to have the kids more, his ex would inevitably forget to pack school clothes for the kids, or underwear, or forget their school backpacks. Instead of encouraging more time and building a relationship with their dad, she just seemed to want make things difficult.

Soon after we moved back to Utah, Ben and I went to a fireside for activity days that Ayzha invited us to attend.  At the end, Ayz asked her dad to drive her home, just 2 blocks away.  Ben told Ayzha she would need to ask her mom first, who denied Ayzha's request stating that it was "her time to have the kids."  This blew our minds.  This kind of heart breaking behavior became the norm.  Ben or the kids would ask for more time and his ex would repeatedly deny their requests.  It was damaging to the kids that his ex chose to be so controlling and inflexible.

During this time, she also began dropping off the kids at her convenience.  She had been asked repeatedly to bring them over at a certain time (for good reasons), but she disregarded our requests so she could drop them off and go to her pilates classes or other things. We began to notice this pattern.  She placed her desires and hobbies over the best interest of our kids.  Her selfishness was very frustrating.

Repeatedly, for years, Ben's requests for more time and interaction with his children were denied until she married her current husband.  Once remarried, she regularly wanted us to take the kids more.  The requests we made for more time with the kids were denied, but when it benefitted her, she expected us to take them.  Even when Ben wasn't home she would drop off the kids with me.  She treated me like I was her free personal babysitter.  Don't get me wrong, we were happy to have the kids, but her treatment of us was disrespectful.

Another issue we have had with Ben's ex is that she doesn't co-parent.  She seems to feel that she owns the kids and has the right to make unilateral decisions about them.  She shows Ben no respect as their father.  She wants his money, but doesn't value his thoughts and ideas. She doesn't discuss with him important decisions in the lives of their children.  Because the kids are with her most of the time, she likes to use "final decision making power" without even including Ben in the decision making process or listening to what Ben has to say. Her favorite weapon against Ben is the silent treatment, which is widely regarded as a form of emotional manipulation and even psychological abuse.  This kind of behavior has continued for a decade.  No father should ever have to deal with the kind of abuse of power exhibited by his children's mother.

Thank you Utah, for passing SB 122! There is no reason that good dads should not have equal time and influence in the lives of their children. We're sad that this wasn't passed 10 years ago, but at least it will benefit dads going forward.

Promoted!

You're looking at the next trainers for Hokulia!  They were both offered a promotion for this year and a pay increase.  So proud of these cute girls!

Mild MI

Willy suffered a mild heart attack on Wednesday.   Luckily he is doing alright, but unfortunately, he is going to need bypass surgery.  He seems in good spirits. Update to follow...

The surgery went better than expected!  They only had to bypass 2 arteries 

instead of 4.  Now time to recover.

HaPpY BiRtHdAy to Me!

Ben and the kids surprised me with
a birthday celebration 2 days early
complete with cheesecake bites,
gifts and a dance party!

 I'm definitely starting to look older, and it makes me kinda sad.
 Wrinkles are the pits and I've been dealing with hot flashes,
night sweats and brain fog too.  I also have labral tears in both hips,  It's not real fun!

Ben and I brunched at Kneaders, yum!
Check out our sweet Lucha Libre masks!

 I spent the rest of my birthday at Alyssa's 
volleyball tournament with Zaysha.

Ben is sending me to Disney World for my birthday and Alyssa and Holly are coming with me!  I am SO EXCITED!  Our trip is planned for the end of April.

No Wonder

I've had almost constant pain in my glutes and hips for the past 5 years.  It has affected my ability to sleep and my ability to exercise and it has been beyond frustrating.  After visiting 3 different doctors and going through 3 rounds of physical therapy over the past 5 years, I finally decided to get an MRI.  Turns out I have labral tears in both hips and tendinosis in my left gluteus medius plus my ankle/foot still hurts from last July.  No wonder I have been in almost constant pain.  Now the question is, how can I heal?   

Had my hip injected with cortisone today...3/30.  We'll see if it helps.

Win/Win

Alyssa and Holly have been participating in the Moderna Covid-19 Vaccine study.                            

Not only were they able to get the vaccine early, they are also earning $1600 and helping with important research in the fight against Covid-19.  It's a win for everyone. 

Tournament MVP

Alyssa was excited to get to practice today to see her stats from the previous tournament.  She was 8 for 10 on serves, had 8 blocks and was 2.63 on hits.  That made her the team MVP for the tournament!  Way to go lyss!  

She also got some not so great news today, the results of her MRI came back and she has schmorl's nodes.  She had been suffering with back pain since August and nothing was helping it.  Now we know why.  Her disc's are herniating down into her bone.  There isn’t really much she can do except stop jumping so much and strengthening her core.  Looks like we will all be doing some serious planking from now on.  Bring on the 6 pack.

Broken Hearts Today💔

There was a terrible accident today.  Ben was backing out to take Reyn to volleyball and ran over our sweet Apollo.  I had let the ferrets out to run around in the garage and Ben didn't know they were out.  

Our hearts broke as we sat with her as she stuggled for several minutes and then took her last breaths.  We will certainly miss her.  She had the most adorable little face.   Love you forever 'pollo.

Kodo and Calipso will miss you too.

Rest in Peace

 

National History Day

Holly's National History Day Project won first place for her school.  Then it won first place for the region.  Now it's headed to state!  Way to go Holly!

 Update: April 28, 2021

She is the state champion!!!  Congratulations Holly you are amazing!

Oh What a Relief!

This is my happy face post talk.

My topic

.

Today I spoke in Stake Conference. It was an honor to be asked, but I am feeling a sigh of relief now..

This was my talk...

Many years ago, a woman lived with her family in military housing on Long Island, New York.  She would often visit with friends from all over the country who were not members of the church.  One day she was visiting with a neighbor and explaining some of our Church’s basic beliefs.  She told her friend about the Book of Mormon and that we believe the Church is led today by a living prophet. The neighbor became very interested and asked her what the prophet had said lately.  After thinking about it for a few seconds, she was embarrassed to admit that she did not know what the Prophet had said most recently.  Her neighbor concluded the conversation by saying, “You mean you have a living prophet and you don’t know what he said?” 

I have to admit, there have been times in my life when I would not have known what the Prophet had said lately either.  But as I have listened to the words of our prophets over the past several years, I have felt the holy Ghost witness to me that there really IS a LIVING PROPHET on the earth TODAY!  He tells us what the Lord wants us to do.  Do YOU know what the Prophet has said lately? 

Let me tell you what He said in the last general conference.  I have it written on my journal this year.  The prophet encouraged us to "Let God Prevail” in our lives.  That means, that we listen to the Lord and do what he asks us to do.

President Nelson said:

The question for each of us (whether young or old)  is the same…. Are you willing to let God prevail in your life? Are you willing to let God be the most important influence in your life? Will you allow His words, His commandments, and His covenants to influence what you do each day? Will you allow His voice to take priority over any other? Are you willing to let whatever He needs you to do take precedence over every other ambition? These are great questions for all of us. 

Think for a minute of something you know God wants you to do that you are struggling to do. Maybe, you struggle to always tell the truth.  Maybe it’s difficult to pay tithing.  Maybe it’s hard to forgive someone who has hurt you.  Maybe you could do better at reading your scriptures and saying your prayers.  Maybe you have felt prompted to reach out to someone, but you haven't done it yet.

Sometimes when the Lord asks me to do something hard it turns into something like a spiritual game of tug of war.  Do you know how to play tug of war?  One person holds one end of a long rope and another person holds the other end.   They each try to pull their opponent over the center line and onto your side.  

Imagine for a minute that God is on one end of the rope and I am on the other.  He pulls on the rope and says, sister Fuller, you need to forgive the person you are struggling to forgive, and I pull back and say, it’s too hard, she keeps doing things that hurt our family.  And he pulls back and says, it’s alright, if you will forgive, I will fill your heart with peace.   

Or maybe for you kids: The Lord may pull on the end of the rope and whisper to you through the still small voice: hey, there is a kid sitting all alone, you should go say hello.  And you pull back and say, but I don’t know that kid, I wouldn’t know what to say.  And he says:  it’s alright, I am here, I will help you.

Or maybe to a youth: God might pull on his end of the rope and say: Some of your friends are taking you down the wrong path, it might be time to choose friends that will help you make good choices and stay in the Covenant path.  And you pull back and say,  But i have so much fun with my  friends, and what if I don’t make other friends?  And he pulls back and says:  I am here for you, I promise I will enable you to get through it.  

For parents, He might pull on the end of the rope and say, please take time to teach your children the gospel.  You might pull back and say:  I’m so busy, and tired and my kids complain every time we study the gospel.  And he pulls back and says:  you can do this, just make some effort, a little every day and I will bless you.

Whatever it is that you are struggling to do, stop playing spiritual tug of war and Let God Prevail.  He knows what is best for you..  Let Him be the winner, let him be victorious. Let him pull you over to His side where I assure you he will give you a great big hug and a huge reward.  Rearrange you life so that you can be obedient.  You will learn that when you are obedient, blessings ALWAYS follow.

Yesterday afternoon  and again this morning the Lord, through his spirit told me to talk for a minute directly to the parents who have children in Primary.    

The evil that is facing our youth may never have been greater.  As a mother of 6 children, 5 of whom are teenagers, I plead with you to do everything in your power, before your children graduate from Primary, to prepare them for their teenage years.  Do not wait, until the world has weaseled it's way into your children’s hearts and they are surrounded by the temptations of the devil..  start today.  Help them build a firm foundation in Christ now.  So that they will be able to stand strong through their teenage years and throughout the rest of their lives.  

Primary teachers, please do everything in your power to support the parents. If you know of a child in your class who is not getting spiritual nourishment at home, please pray to be guided to know how you can help that child.  We do not want to lose a single one of these precious children.

So, what are some of the rewards or blessings we win when we Let God be victorious?I’ve always been curious about a scripture we read In Doctrine and Covenants Section 30: 21

21 ...when we obtain any ablessing from God, it is by bobedience to that law upon which it is predicated.

 

Wouldn’t it be great if there was one big list with two columns.  One column that showed the law we are supposed to obey, and in the other column the blessing we obtain when we obey?  I don’t have that list, but I will share some of the blessings we have been promised for doing what the Lord has asked.  

-If you keep the commandments…..you prosper in the land.  

 -When you attend the temple with regularity...the Lord will bring the miracles He knows you need and you will be endowed with power.

 -When you Hear and Heed the word of the Lord...you will be blessed with additional power to deal with temptation, struggles, and weakness.

-When you feast on the words of Christ daily:   the words of Christ will tell you how to respond to difficulties you never thought you would face.

-When you are baptized and confirmed...  you will have the Holy Ghost as your constant companion.

-When you pay  tithing… God will open the ewindows of heaven, and pour you out a fblessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.

-When you repent...you are forgiven, and the Lord remembers your sins no more.

Those are just a few of the blessings we can obtain as we Let God Prevail. I want all of those blessings for you and your family.

Now, before I close, a quick thought for those of you that are  trying to do everything the Lord has asked you to do but you're not seeing the promised blessings.  I want to share with you one of my favorite quotes from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, with a small word adjustment.  

“Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven.  But for those who "Let God Prevail" in their lives, THEY COME.  Trust God.

  

Brothers and sisters,  I testify that Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ are real.  I have felt their love for me many times in my life.  They love you and will only ask you to do things that will bless your life.  Whatever it is that the Lord asks you to do, even if it is a hard thing to do, I invite you, I urge you, I plead with you to Let God Prevail. If you are willing to “Let Him Prevail, He will “fight your battles, and [your] children’s battles, and your children’s children’s [battles] … and eventually all that the Father hath shall be given unto you.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Random

Holly has a lot of swim friends!  
They all love Jolyn swimsuits.

Ayssa should be a
professional cookie maker!

These 2nd grade Thunder Ballers
only lost 1 game in a 3rd grade league.  
They were amazing!

There hasn't been much snow this year.
We had to check Q out of school to go sledding
before all the snow melted.

Hoop Camp is back!  
Our first event is in May.

Family sleepover in the front room.

UTAGS/Beehive Finale

I am so inspired by Holly!  She had knee surgery in August and wasn't able to really start swimming again until December.  She worked hard though January and February to get back to her previous times but wasn't progressing as quickly as she would have liked.  Her friends kept dropping time which was great for them but frustrating for her.  A couple weeks ago she wasn’t sure she wanted to swim at state, because she didn't think she would keep up with the others and didn't want to come in last in her events.  With some encouragement, she changed her mind, and I am so glad she did!  It hasn't been easy, but she has stuck with it and was awesome at state!  Her 200 free relay team even won their heat (6th overall)!  She is amazing!

A week after state she swam in the Beehive Finale....and KILLED it!  She got 3 PRs and broke 1 minute in the 100 Free.  I am SO happy for her!